Tag Archives: workplace

One Man’s Diagnosis of Biz Caz Blues, Part 5: An Erin Brockovich Situation

“Well,  what is it?” I asked.  “Is it the water here or something in the office air?  Is this some Erin Brockovich shit or something?”

Dr. Susnow explained that he was able to rule out the water and air because two of the six employees who suffered from the same symptoms worked in two different satellite offices.

“I have a theory,” he said, “but it’s only a theory.”  He stopped.

“Well, what is it?” I demanded, growing impatient.

“Hmm, I don’t know if I should tell you because, like I said, it’s only a theory and, really, I need more time to think about it.  Telling you now would be premature.”

“You gotta tell me.  I’m dying here.  I can barely get out of bed in the morning.  I can’t go on like this.  I just can’t.”

“O.K., O.K.  I’ll tell you but this doesn’t go beyond this room.  You must promise met that.  If this theory is true, which I hope it’s not, it will disrupt the entire order of things as they now are.  Do you understand me?”

Biz Caz Reduces Violence

 While there are certainly a host of ills associated with biz caz, the relaxed dress code does have some redeeming features.  For example, study after study has demonstrated that workplaces that have implemented a biz caz policy have an exceedingly smaller number of violent incidents than those that have not implemented such a policy. 

The biz caz trade association, the Smart and Casual Officewear Federation (SACOF), uses these studies as a way to promote its agenda of having a biz caz dress code in every office in every country.  Although the biz caz movement clearly emerged victorious from the bloody officewear wars of the 1980s and 90s, SACOF is not a group to rest on its laurels.  It knows that part of what won the war–in addition to biz caz muscle–was propaganda.  And propaganda is what will keep biz caz in power. 

An example of such propaganda is SACOF’s recently released commercial showing the violence that is all too common in a non-biz caz office.  The commercial is titled, “Office Worker Goes Absolutely Insane.”  The commercial is hard hitting and its message is clear: If this man had been allowed to wear Dockers instead of a suit, his coworkers would be in a lot less pain now, especially the lady who caught a computer monitor with her face.